Jokes of the Day/Shakarat e Dites

Top Ten Reasons Why Albanians Can't Be Terrorists

1. 8:45 AM is too early for us to be up.
2. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights.
3. Pretty people on the plane distract us.
4. We would talk loud and bring attention to ourselves.
5. With buk, djath, and raki on the plane, we would forget why we're there.
6. We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons down.
7. We would all want to fly the plane.
8. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
9. We can't keep a secret, we would have told everyone a week before doing it.
10. We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.

Gafat e kryeministrit italian, Silvio Berlusconi, nuk kane te sosur. "Une te kam dhene gruan tende”, i ka peshperitur ai presidentit francez Nicolas Sarkozy gjate nje konference shtypi ne mbyllje te samitit italo-francez ne Paris tre dite me pare. Thuajse askush nuk kishte arritur te kuptonte se c’i kishte thene nen ze Berlusconi mikut te tij. Kavalieri e kishte nderprere per disa sekonda Sarkozy, qe po pershkruante rezultatet e samitit.

Berlusconi i eshte afruar dhe i ka shqiptuar frazen, qe u shoqerua me nje buzeqeshje te sikletshme nga presidenti francez. Kreu i Elizeut vazhdoi fjalimin zyrtar. Batuta misterioze ngjalli kurozitetin e mediave franceze.

"Moi je t'ai donné la tua donna", ka thene Berlusconi duke perzier dy gjuhet. Carla Bruni u paraqit si nje mall eksporti dhe kjo gje s’i pelqeu Sarkozy. Veprimi nuk u prit mire as nga prezantuesit franceze, qe mbi kete fraze ngriten nje seri ironish, duke i dorezuar Berluskonit “Oscar” per vulgaritet.

Vete Bruni nuk e ka pelqyer asnjehere ironine pa vend te kryeministrit italian. Me 8 nentor, pas batutes se Berluskonit, ku i referohej Obames si nje president i nxire, zonja e pare francese kishte shprehur kenaqesine, qe me ne fund ishte bere shtetase franceze.

hahahaha the guy gets worse everytime he opens his mouth...
This is true it happened yesterday. Argentina also pulled their ambassador from Italy because of Berlusconi over something offensive he said.

One thing at a time

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and
come back to see me next week."
The next week the lady comes back.
"Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent... stink terribly."

The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity






1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.




2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!



3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.



4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.



5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.



6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.



7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.



8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.



9. Sing Along At The Opera.



10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.



11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'



12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'



13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'



And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity…



14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WERE THE FITTING ROOM IS..

"Before the marriage"

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to up !!!!